Intimate Conversation with 
Thembisa S. Mshaka

Thembisa S. Mshaka is a 5-time Telly Award winner and 17-year entertainment industry veteran whose career spans the areas of touring, management, magazine publishing, recorded music and technology, advertising, music supervision for film, voice over, and television. As Senior Copywriter at Sony Music, her campaigns contributed to the sale of more than 150 million albums for Lauryn Hill, Will Smith, Beyonce’, NaS, Maxwell and others. Her byline has appeared in essence.com, newsone.com, and TheHotness.com. She contributed to the anthologies Sometimes Rhythm: Sometimes Blues edited by Taigi Smith and Icons of Hip-Hop, edited by Mickey Hess.


BPM:  What makes you powerful as a person and a writer?  First and foremost my relationship with the Creator fortifies me and helps me to remember what’s really important. I also have to mention my connection to my African-American heritage; the strength and support of my family; my education at single-sex institutions from middle school through undergraduate. Women’s education gave me a strong, healthy sense of identity. I also learned how to summon my personal power and sharpen my communication through the Landmark Education curriculum, which I completed in 2003.

BPM:  Who are your mentors? Where do you find your inspiration?
My mentors are my late mother, Fulani Mshaka, to whom I dedicated my book, author Terrie M. Williams, who taught me the value of the personal touch in business, and music executive turned film producer Lisa Cortes, whose path greatly inspires mine.

I fine my inspiration in travel, film, music, art exhibits, theater, books, stimulating conversation. I especially love talking with my son; his insights are incredible.

BPM:   Finish this sentence- My writing offers the following legacy to future readers...My writing offers the following legacy to future readers by thrusting the voices of women who work in entertainment into the literary cannon. Put Your Dreams First provides mentorship from over 90 women so readers won’t have to compromise their bodies or values to be successful in entertainment. Writing this book crystallized the importance of legacy building for me.

BPM:   Introduce us to the primary message in your book, Put Your Dreams First. That while men dominate the entertainment world, women drive it—and their business insights can help all readers become successful while keeping their integrity intact. The key is to Put Your Dreams First, hence the title. This highly informative guide is for every woman wanting to know how to navigate the entertainment superhighway and find that job of a lifetime.


BPM:   Share with us three life enhancing sections from Put Your Dreams First: Handle Your [entertainment] Business The Work-Life Balance Myth.Yeah, I said it. Balancing work and family is a myth. While PDAs and laptops allow us to seem like we’re in many places at once, in the physical realm, we have yet to clone ourselves. Until that day, we’re left with the choice to make our passion for work and our love for our spouses, partners, children and families work. As a wife of almost twelve years who was seen many an industry couple implode, and as a mother of a young son who has been the ear and shoulder for countless single parents, I am clear that “balance” in this scenario is non-applicable.

Once I figured this out, I became a much more successful wife. My choice to make a family and personal life work looked like me giving up my 90+ hour a week job for one where I could actually leave the office at 6 o’clock without my boss looking at me sideways. Thankfully you don’t have to be a home maker in the 21st century, but if you want to nurture a committed relationship and raise children you do need to be home. And while I was working at Gavin, I was barely ever home. I was either in the office or out at clubs, radio stations, retail outlets, concerts.

My professional life was my personal life. I was always in work mode. Ironically when I got to New York I was pulling down fewer hours a week. Outside of preparing for campaign presentations and shoots, my weekends belonged to me. Being home at 6:30 pm means being home for dinner instead of dinner meetings with a promotion rep. It allows for a date with my husband on weekend evenings when I might otherwise be networking at an industry event.

Now that my son is here, my weekends are split between him and me, since my husband’s the one working weekends in real estate. I am much happier running him from sports camp at Chelsea Piers to play dates and parties than I was making appearances at every event just to stay ahead of what and whoever was the next big thing. I still go out, but I am much more selective because my work as a tastemaker has grown and shifted. I’m not part of the underground anymore. I helped take it mainstream, so that’s where I reside now.

As a creative I get my creative food from multiple sources: museums, theater, gardens, travel, community events, all things that don’t have to mean leaving the family to engage in them.

Yvette Noel-Schure has made her work and home life work for over 25 years, but not without the real-world sacrifice of her husband and both their families to make sure her three children didn’t miss out on their mother. This harmony we seek between work life and home life requires an orchestra of support from the Village of which the African proverb speaks. Yvette describes how her family has gathered around her before her career took off, starting with “three people with one name, my husband, my husband, my husband. He doesn’t have the hang-ups many have about roles. I got married my first year of college and had my son my second year. I would go to school four days and be home twice a week as often as I could.

My husband ran an ice cream parlor in the Village at night. We crossed each other a lot on the stairs. As my career changed, we asked a family member to help with the younger children. After September 11th we vowed to change our lives and opted not to chase two incomes. My husband works from home and I am out ‘galavantin’ as my grandmother says,” she laughs. “I have the most unconventional job in the family and I have missed a lot, but not when it comes to the kids. When there’s a boo-boo to blow, I blow it. I don’t miss recitals or meets. I am on the 5:30 bus so I can be at dinner by 7:00 if it kills me! The girls of Destiny’s Child would tease me because I was always going home right after a job; the first time I went to an after-party, I was in London and couldn’t go home. The paycheck is not for me, it’s for the family.”

Nzingha has a wake-up call for us women who aren’t keeping track of the time as we climb the career ladder. “All the stuff you want to do—get married, have kids, guess what? The higher you go the more it ain’t hapnin’. The fight gets harder, and you’re fighting to keep your very life. I want to share a quote for those who don’t know what they’re getting into or how deep the rabbit hole goes,” Nzingha says. “It’s from All About Eve where Margo Channing is talking to her girlfriend Karen about climbing up the ladder.” Here is Margo’s sage wisdom as written in the 1950 classic by John Mankiewicz:

MARGO“The things you drop on your way up
the ladder, so you can move faster.
You forget you'll need them again
when you go back to being a woman.
That's one career all females have
in common - whether we like it or
not - being a woman.
Sooner or later we've all got to
work at it, no matter what other
careers we've had or wanted... and,
in the last analysis, nothing is
any good unless you can look up
just before dinner or turn around
in bed - and there he is.
Without that, you're not woman.”

As long the myth of balance is playing in your head, you’ll be looking for everything to balance out. The truth of the matter is creating a relationship and making the time to be in one is up to you, not the circumstances of life. You have to put the brakes on to be available for your partner. Sure that person’s going to feel insecure and intimidated if you’re hardly there, because they barely know you.

Relationships have to have time invested in the same way careers do. If the only muscle your flexin’ is your career muscle, your relationship muscles will weaken and atrophy to the point where you forget how to even be in a relationship. That’s how so many of us end up married to our careers, pushin’ 40 or more, lonely as hell, with all our self-esteem and identity intertwined with what we do to the point that when we lose the job, we lose ourselves. “I’ve gone to a lot of panels that are allegedly about balancing career and family,” Stephanie chuckles. “What I actually end up hearing is a lot of people having one or the other. You may have a very successful single mom because the husband couldn’t stick around, couldn’t go a long with her drive. I think women can have both, but at different times. You have to choose which one you want.” Stephanie chose family and in her case, even after demonstrating her commitment, her spouse could not support her line of work. “I haven’t had any children. I wish I had; I had a husband but he didn’t stick around because it wasn’t so much that I chose a career, it was the career I chose. He was very intimidated by it.”

The pain we endure as we endeavor to make it all work is very real. In Stephanie’s case, her marriage was crippling her career instead of supporting it as was the case with Yvette. But her failure at the relationship itself almost took her under. Stephanie’s divorce was devastating to her. In the darkness of its aftermath, she learned how strong she really was. “I went through an emotional breakdown directly related to going through a divorce,” she reflects. “and right before I got laid off at the PR firm where I worked. Even though that was like a blessing because I didn’t want to work there anymore, I figured I was out of a job and the whole marriage was collapsing…it was a very traumatic time. I found myself waking up laying in the middle of the floor crying every day.

Eventually I crawled out of bed one day and ended up seeing someone at a mental health clinic in Hollywood. They gave me medication, told me how to take it, and said I’d start to get relief in a month. I was like, ‘a month?! With the anxiety and pain I was feeling, if I had to endure another four weeks I would not be around for the medication to take effect. I put those meds in my closet and never took them. I knew then I had to draw on strength from God. I had one friend who stepped me through all this, but I didn’t turn to a lot of individuals. I turned to the power of prayer. I started to call my energy back and transform it. It was very spiritual, intense, very conscious and targeted. Once I changed the way I was thinking about my life, my whole life changed.”

Stephanie’s testimony is an offering to anyone starting out in the business. the lesson she learned in the middle of her career is one you can implement at the start of yours. Commit to making yourself work, however that looks for you. Be it through religious or spiritual practice, self-improvement, wellness, mediation, yoga, the list goes on. The more centered you are the better prepared you will be for the inevitable curveballs your journey in this game will be.

BPM:   What led you to create Put Your Dreams First now? After being in the industry for 18 years, I’ve seen too many women play themselves to ‘get put on’. Instead of complaining about it or judging them, I wanted to educate them. I also wanted to shine a light on the women who go about being successful without being golddiggers, video vixens, or strippers. We are much more than those sexualized archetypes. I also wanted men to read about the business from women’s points of view so they understand the impact of their biases in their relationships with women, platonic or not.

BPM:   Who should read this book and why? Anyone working in or aspiring to work in entertainment; anyone who is entrepreneurial; artists of all kinds; anyone who seeks career mentorship; students; especially young women ages 16 and up.

BPM:   What issues in today's society do you address in Put Your Dreams First? Wow. The women in this book cover it all: navigating the workplace, pay inequity and its impact, choices made between work and personal life. I specifically address the full career timeline, from getting the business to thriving in it and then, exiting if you so choose. I also give straight-up tips on how to exit a job powerfully called The 10 Severance Commandments.

BPM:   Before we end the interview, define SUCCESS. What part does GRATITUDE play in achieving success, in your opinion? A huge part. Gratitude means you understand that your success is bigger than you; it happens because of the strength and support you receive from a higher power, one’s mentors, family and friends. The ungrateful person is rarely in the moment. They are usually upset about something or wrapped up in themselves; what they feel people owe them. Ingrates may experience success, but it is not nearly as fulfilling or long-lasting.

BPM:   What do you think makes your book different from others on the same subject? 1. It’s the first of its kind to illuminate the entertainment world from the points of view of over 90 dynamic women.

2. The book is written as a business narrative by someone who has actually worked successfully in multiple sectors of entertainment.

3. My book is written the way people talk, so it’s easy to understand, making for a fast-paced read.

4. It’s the only one on the market to cover all aspects of entertainment instead of focusing on just film or music. Put Your Dreams First covers those fields and radio, TV, new media, image making, star-making, marketing, publishing, and more—from the inside.


BPM:   Share with us your latest news, awards or upcoming book releases. This past year I became a finalist for the Shorty Awards (for abbreviated online content via Twitter in the #books category).  I am working on a companion book to Put Your Dreams First and my first screenplay. I’m also a consulting producer on a lifestyle TV series. Finally, I am joining forces with veteran casting director Winsome Sinclair for a career seminar called Passion To Action.
   
BPM:   How can our readers reach you online?My blog covers women, business, and entertainment: http://www.thembisamshaka.com/. The site for the book is http://www.putyourdreamsfirst.com/. I am on Twitter at www.twitter.com/putyrdreams1st. I am also on Facebook and BlackPlanet under Thembisa Mshaka. Thanks for the interview and thanks to all the readers for reaching out and supporting my work.

Thembisa S. Mshaka Website: http://www.putyourdreamsfirst.com/
To Read My Blog, Visit http://www.thembisamshaka.com/
Purchase your copy today at Amazonhttp://www.amazon.com/Put-Your-Dreams-First-entertainment/dp/0446409464

Intimate Conversation with
Maurine McFarlane

Maurine McFarlane, Intercessor, Humanitarian, Financial Consultant and Community Activist. One of the principal of Lighthouse Covenant International, a Humanitarian Organization emerging in Philadelphia, Maurine is qualified in the areas of investment development, marketing, and fundraising. Maurine attended Temple University’s School of Business Administration in Marketing. Current advanced studies at the Jameson School of Ministry and Theology.

Maurine enjoys volunteering her time with children, and the Philadelphia Prison System, through the New Covenant Church of Philadelphia, and Lighthouse Covenant International Prison Ministry and her own Hospitality Ministry. She resides in Philadelphia, PA and is the mother of two children, Crystal and Blake.

ABOUT THE BOOK
Release the Prophetic Destiny in Philadelphia: A City Under Reconstruction lays out the Strategic Action Plan for winning the War against the many battles that has plagued our family, community, city and nation, and restoring our men back into the position of leadership in our homes, churches and communities. Issues dealing with inner cities, urban policies and social problems are the serious key challenges for the coming generation. We need to shift our focus, and realize that we are facing a crisis and the time to change is now. You will find out why Philadelphia Must Lead the Way in Healing and Rebuilding America’s Broken Cities, and why I believe that the people of the entire city with diverse backgrounds, education, and culture can come together to work for the greater good of this city and other major cities in America. 

BPM:  What makes you powerful as a person and a writer? 

This is an excellent question. I will answer this question with 8 qualities that serve as the central core of my life. I live and breathe all 8 of these:

1.  I Give It All I Have to Give – I give it all to the task at hand, without question, and without complaint.

2.  I Never Give Up - Period. I am persistent. I go after what I believe and I do it quietly, no matter how difficult the going may get.

3.  I Always Speak My Mind – I am not worried about what others will think about what I say. I am not concerned that some may criticize me for my thoughts. I am not attached to their acceptance of me. I speak my mind with a calm confidence only a powerful woman could exude.

4.  I Respect Myself and Others – I am respectful in all situations. A powerful person must know that acceptance must come from within first and foremost. In addition, I respect the choices of others, despite the fact that I might not agree or approve. And I don’t treat them any differently because of their choices.

5.  I Stand Up For What I Believe In – I am confident in supporting my beliefs, no matter what the consequences. When others try to sway my belief on an issue, I don’t retract the thinking and behavior, which isn’t aligned with my core beliefs. I stand firm on my convictions.

6.  I Inspire Myself And Others – I belief the ability to inspire naturally resides within the powerful person. I won’t allow the negativity directed toward me by others to consume my life or get me down. Instead I respond to the negativity by focusing on the positives and by offering myself hope for the future. I offer this positive attitude to others as well.

7.  I Share My Power Willingly – I willingly shares my gifts, talents, skills and knowledge with others.

8.  Make a Difference in The Lives of Others - this quality is at the core of my being, it is the essence of who I am.  It is something that, deep down, every powerful person wants to achieve on a daily basis, to make a difference in the lives of others.

BPM:  Who are your mentors? Where do you find your inspiration?Growing up I didn’t have any mentors nor did I know what a mentor should be. There are many suggestions on how to find a mentor, and the requirements you must meet if you want to be a mentor. Today with a greater knowledge of the world my mentors are very broad, from the most powerful man in the world, the President of the United States, to the woman in the ghetto who cannot feed her child, but is trying to do the best she can. Any person that inspires me to change the world are both my mentor and my inspiration.

BPM:  Finish this sentence- My writing offers the following legacy to future readers... My writing offers the following legacy to future readers... the gift of knowledge, it’s the first step to excellence. And excellence cannot be denied. The word KNOWS means bringing understanding. It’s not the truth that sets us free; it’s the truth that we understand that sets you free. What does this mean for an individual?

·         It will Change You

·         Transform You

·         Liberate You

·         Free You

This knowledge is a public awareness campaign to inspire people from all walks of life and all income levels to think beyond their life span. Joined together by a common purpose, working together to enhance understanding that all of us have the ability to “make a difference in the lives that follow.”

BPM:   Introduce us to the primary message in "Release the Prophetic Destiny in Philadelphia: A City Under Reconstruction."There is no denying this fact: American cities are at WAR. African Americans are in the midst of a social crisis that threatens the very viability of the black community. The core of this crisis is the deepening plight of Black Men, and the book addresses the reasons why the city of “Brotherly Love” (Philadelphia) Must Lead The Way in Rebuilding and Healing America’s Broken Cities.

BPM:   Share with us three life enhancing sections from the book.(1)    That every situation we face in our lives as an individual or as a people has many dimensions to them, and until we have acquired the knowledge of how to deal with them on each level (i.e. physical, mental, moral, and spiritual) we will never be victorious, and the cycle continues.

(2)    No matter who we are, we are in a WAR.  The battlefield is our mind, and those who influence our thoughts will influence our actions.

(3)    If society and the nation have a problem with drugs, unwed mothers, teenage pregnancy, corruption, violence and the like, then they must go back to the foundation in order to solve the problem. If they have a national problem they must go back into the communities to find the source of the problem. Obviously, the community’s problems affect the nation, which is a multiplicity of communities. Communities’ problems are rooted in the families that make up each community. Fatherhood is the foundation of the family. The government, the church cannot fix society’s problems when the foundation is out of place.

BPM:   What led you to create this book now?I believe that in every generation God always calls a group of people to lead the way for change, the change for this generation is now. As a Community Activist I see first hand the diminution of the black family and our community. Issues dealing with inner cities, urban policies and social problems are the serious key challenges for the coming generation. Our cities are broken, and many of those who live in them are hurting, some desperately. We need to shift our focus, and realize that we are facing a crisis. It’s a crisis that has the potential to impact everyone regardless of whether you live there or not.

BPM:   Who should read this book and why?When it comes to social issues that affect a whole generation of a people, it should be every person concern, because it affects you even if you don’t come into direct contact. Therefore, the audience for this book is every Political, Religious, Civic and Community leader. Additionally, so should every man, woman and young adult who cares about the state of the black family and wants to do something about it, starting with one’s own family. For example: HIV/AIDS is not just a health problem, but also a development problem. How? By spreading fast mostly to young people and working-age adults, HIV/AIDS affects the economy, society, family and schooling in a country, weakening the country as a whole. Release the Prophetic Destiny in Philadelphia is for every person that wants to change the socioeconomic conditions of their city.

BPM:   What issues in today's society do you address in the book?Fatherlessness. Why? Because it’s the most harmful demographic trend of this generation. It’s the leading cause of declining child well being in our society. It is also the engine driving our most urgent social problems, from crime to adolescent pregnancy to child sexual abuse to domestic violence against women and homelessness between both men and women. Yet, despite its scale and social consequences, fatherlessness is a problem that is frequently ignored or denied. Especially within our elite discourse, it remains largely a problem with no name.

BPM:   What impact will this book have on the community of readers?To bring the problems of our communities to the consciousness of our mind. We can no longer pretend it does not affect us, and with this new awareness we all can be part of the positive change our communities desperately need. This book is also designed to facilitate the development of self-determined people taking full responsibility in their lives. Indeed, we need to explore the unmapped territory of our minds and develop it to the fullest, if we are each to have the insight to be able to effectively cut through the restricted thinking in our environments, and to make a positive impact on what is happening to our world.

 

BPM:   What was your primary quest in publishing this book?Oswald Chambers, author of “My Utmost for His Highest” says, the author or speaker from who you learn the most is not the one who teaches you something you didn’t know before, but the one who helps you take a truth with which you have quietly struggled and give it expression, speaking it clearly and boldly. “Release the Prophetic Destiny in Philadelphia, A City Under Reconstruction” speaks boldly to the issues that we continually struggle with in the physical, mental, moral, and spiritual area of our lives.

BPM:   What message in your book do you want readers to share with others? It does not matter who you are, or where you are in life, God can use you to bring about change for a people. The efforts to bless others will reciprocate in blessings coming upon us. This was the purpose of God in giving us a part to act in the plan of redemption. He has granted men the privilege of becoming partaker of the divine nature and, in turn, of diffusing blessings to their fellow men. This is the highest honor, the greatest joy that is possible for God to bestow upon men. Those who thus become participants in labors of love are brought nearest to their Creator.

BPM:   Before we end the interview, define SUCCESS. What part does GRATITUDE play in achieving success, in your opinion?Success for me is being able to get up everyday and doing exactly what I love to do. Making a difference, no matter how small in someone else’s life. I will never get tired of doing this. It brings me the most joy, and I will never do anything as important. I am always grateful to God for this passion He placed within me for humanity. I KNOW THIS FOR SURE: I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

BPM:   What do you think makes your book different from others on the same subject?Many books have been written about the many social problems facing our urban cities, and some of the rural areas of our country. They all have excellent ideas and suggestions. However, when we examine the evidence, something is missing from all their philosophies and solutions. That which is missing is the word of God. WE should be concerned with what God has to say about these problems, and what strategic plan He gives us to win this war.

When social scientists gather data on such things as crime, homelessness, urban blight, disintegrating families, teenage prostitutes, growing joblessness, and racial conflicts, they are at a loss to fully explain why such things are increasingly so evident. These social scientist know that something more is unfolding in the city than is objectively available to their scientific instruments of investigation.  Release the Prophetic Destiny in Philadelphia promises new hope to those stuck in the cycles of inner city poverty. I clearly lay out a different way of thinking about these lifestyles and, most importantly, raises the expectation that hope is on the horizon for those who know God and love Him enough to actively obey Him.

BPM:   Share with us your latest news, awards or upcoming book releases.I am very proud that my book “Release the Prophetic Destiny in Philadelphia: A City Under Reconstruction” has been selected by the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation, to be part of the 2010 Annual Legislative Conference Author Pavilion. I hope to see many of you there, please come out and support my work.

BPM:   How can our readers reach you online? To learn more about our organization and the work we are doing around the world, you can contact us at http://www.lighthousecovenantintl.com/

Release the Prophetic Destiny in Philadelphia: A City Under Reconstructionby Maurine McFarlane, Humanitarian, Financial Consultant and Community Activist

Lighthouse Covenant International website: http://www.lighthousecovenantintl.com/